Wise Ass

They know. They have always known. They knew before you asked, before you were born, before the question was even fashionable. This ass holds every answer and releases them one per decade, like a vault with a flair for drama. They have never Googled anything in their life, because Google Googles them. When they finally speak it is four words long, ends the debate, and makes everyone in the room quietly reconsider their diplomas. They are right so often it has become genuinely rude. Smartest one alive, stingiest one with a sentence, and they will make you wait for both.