Sleep Prophet Ass

This ass sleep-trained one baby, successfully, once, and has been preaching the gospel ever since to anyone whose eyes betray a hint of exhaustion. This worked for us, they announce, case closed, as though a single data point were a peer-reviewed miracle. They have a method. They have a schedule. They have a gentle, pitying look for the parents still doing it wrong, which is, by their count, everyone. Your baby is different, your situation is different, and none of that has slowed them down for a second. A missionary of the nap, spreading the one true routine door to door, absolutely certain, blissfully immune to the possibility that they simply got an easy baby.