Selective Memory Ass

This ass has a photographic memory with one very convenient blind spot: themselves. They can recall, in devastating detail, something you said in passing four years ago, but the argument they started last Tuesday has been gently deleted from the record. Their version of every event stars a slightly more reasonable, considerably more heroic version of them. The receipts they keep are all yours. The ones with their own name on them mysteriously did not survive. It is not lying. It is curation, an ongoing, unconscious edit of history toward a flattering conclusion. A biographer of their own life who keeps misplacing the unflattering chapters, and somehow only ever the unflattering chapters.