Read The Book Ass

This ass does not have opinions. They have literature, and they will cite it. Every choice, every dinner, every offhand remark comes footnoted, according to the book, the study, the expert whose podcast they finished this very morning. They have outsourced their entire instinct to a reading list and they are winning, technically, by the exact metrics the reading list provided. Ask a simple question and receive a full bibliography. It is not that they are wrong. It is that they have never once trusted themselves to know a single thing without a hardcover standing behind them. A walking works-cited page, impressively well-read, and quietly terrified of one unsupported thought.