Quiet Ass certified ass award title card

Quiet Ass

"SPEAKS SOFTLY, JUDGES LOUDLY"

They said nothing. They have been saying nothing for years, beautifully. This ass sits in the corner absorbing every secret in the building while the loud ones dig their graves in real time. Mistaken for shy. Actually surveillance. They know where the bodies are. They may have suggested the locations. Once a night they say a single sentence so precise it rearranges the entire room, and return to their drink. They have never lost an argument because they have never entered one. Underestimate them. Please. It is the most dangerous mistake you will ever make.

Know someone who has earned the Quiet Ass? Put them up for it.