Old Ass

This ass has seen things, done things, and would love to tell you about all of them, slowly, starting with the walk to school that was somehow uphill both ways. Technology is a personal insult. The music is too loud, the portions too small, and the youth, frankly, a disappointment. Their knees now forecast the weather with unsettling accuracy. But cross them and you will discover the terrifying advantage of someone who has run completely out of patience and social fear. They will say the thing. They have earned the thing. Vintage, creaky, and utterly unbothered by your opinion, which they stopped collecting several decades ago.