Moody Ass

This ass does not tell you how they feel. Their feelings simply announce themselves, through a series of atmospheric pressure changes the people nearby have learned to read like career meteorologists. Nobody is informed. Everyone knows. The temperature drops two degrees and the entire table recalibrates without a word being spoken. Ask if something is wrong and receive a 'fine' so structurally load-bearing it could hold up a bridge. They invented that particular 'fine.' Therapists describe the phenomenon as remarkable. The people who live with it describe it as fine, in the exact tone that means it is not. A weather system with opinions, and you left your umbrella at home again.