Local Fix Ass

This ass solves every problem the same way, and the way is turning it off and back on again. Router down? Restart it. Marriage strained? Restart it. Global supply chain? Have you tried unplugging it for thirty seconds. They approach every crisis with the serene confidence of someone who fixed a printer once in 2014 and has been dining out on it ever since. Sometimes, maddeningly, it works, which only deepens the legend. The villain is deleted, the WiFi is enabled, the situation is declared solved, and they stroll away before anyone can confirm whether it actually was. IT support for a universe that did not ask.