Kiss Ass

This ass has never met a superior they could not compliment into a promotion. The laugh arrives half a second before the joke lands. The boss's terrible idea? Visionary. The boss's dog? A very good boy, and cc'd. They have perfected the art of agreeing with such warmth and velocity that nobody notices they have never once held a position of their own. Every email ends in an exclamation point and a small piece of their soul. Sincere? Debatable. Effective? Devastatingly. While you were busy doing the work, this ass was busy thanking the person who would remember it. Corporate ladders were built for exactly this.