First Comment Ass

This certified ass understands that the fastest path to relevance is standing next to it. So they are first. Always first. Whenever a person of consequence posts, this ass appears within ninety seconds bearing a comment so smooth and content-free it could be applied to any post ever written. This is so important. Couldn't agree more. Powerful. They have not read it. There was nothing to read yet. They are farming the visibility of borrowed audiences one flattering non-sentence at a time, and it is working, which is the tragedy. The Committee reviewed their comment history and found a decade of enthusiasm and no opinions.