Delusions Of Gravitas Ass

This ass carries themselves with the weight of a head of state addressing a grieving nation, and the actual stage is a team meeting of six people, four of whom are on mute. The posture is presidential. The pauses are dramatic. They speak in the cadence of someone whose words will be carved into marble, about matters that will be entirely forgotten by lunch. Every opinion is delivered as a doctrine. Every anecdote is a parable. The gravitas is enormous, world-historical, and completely unearned by the venue, which is a Slack channel. A statesman without a state, orating grandly from a very small podium that only they can see.