Crypto Evangelism Ass

This ass has not stopped talking about the blockchain since the day they first heard the word, and they will not, not at dinner, not at the funeral, not while you are visibly trying to leave. They have decentralized everything except their personality. Every conversation is an on-ramp. Every crash is 'actually the best time to buy.' Their portfolio is a rollercoaster they insist is a staircase. They are early. They have been early for years. They will explain generational wealth to you from a position of owing their brother money. A missionary for a religion whose god keeps getting hacked, and their faith has never once wavered.