Broke Ass

This ass has turned being out of money into a performance art the rest of us could never afford to stage. The wallet is a formality. The card is having issues. Payday is always Friday, and it is never this Friday. They can stretch a twenty across a weekend, a birthday, and a minor emergency through sheer narrative genius and a rotating cast of reasons that would make a screenwriter weep. Somehow they always eat. Somehow they always show up. They are not broke. They are liquidity-challenged with a five-star attitude, and honestly the confidence alone should be worth money.