Bougie Ass

This ass has champagne standards and a house-wine budget, and they have never once let the math interfere with the vibe. They cannot pronounce the wine but they can absolutely send it back. Every item they own is an investment piece, including the ones still on the credit card and the one repossessed last spring. They will valet a rental. They will expense a feeling. They tip like a duke and check their balance like a hostage. Broke? Never. They prefer temporarily between liquidity events, delivered from seats they cannot afford, looking, it must be said, absolutely magnificent.