Bill Splitting Ass

This ass has produced a calculator at the dinner table, and the entire mood has changed. Fairness is their favorite flavor, and they will pursue it to the exact penny, itemizing who had the extra appetizer, who ordered the pricier wine, and who technically only sipped water and therefore owes less. The math is impeccable. The vibe is deceased. They are not cheap, they will explain, they are precise, and precision demands that your onion rings be accounted for separately. A forensic accountant of the group dinner, turning every warm evening into a spreadsheet, and quietly, genuinely puzzled about why the invitations have started to thin out.