Ass Hat

Somewhere out there is a person who read every room wrong, offered every opinion unasked, and wore the confidence of someone who has never once been told no. That person is this ass, and they have earned the hat. They are the reply-all. They are the parking-lot lecture. They are the one at the meeting who says 'to play devil's advocate' and then advocates, tirelessly, for the devil. Nobody invited this. Nobody can stop it either. It is not malice, exactly. It is a gift for being a nuisance so pure it loops back around to impressive. Uncatchable. Uncoachable. Certified.