Accountability Allergy Ass

This ass has never once done anything wrong, statistically, which is remarkable across a lifetime this long. Every setback has an author, and it is never them. The traffic, the timing, the coworker, the weather, the vast unknowable machinery of the universe, all of it conspires, daily, against a person who is, by their own sworn testimony, simply doing their best. Responsibility approaches and they develop an immediate, full-body allergic reaction. Mistakes happen to them, never by them. They are the permanent, blameless victim of a world that keeps mysteriously producing consequences shaped exactly like their choices. A Teflon soul to which nothing, especially fault, has ever quite managed to stick.